How to Support a Partner With Postnatal Depression

Welcoming a baby into the world is often described as a joyful milestone, but for many families, the postpartum period also brings unexpected emotional challenges. Postnatal depression (PND) can affect any new parent — not only birthing mothers — and it can feel overwhelming when your partner is struggling. If someone you love is experiencing PND, your support can make a meaningful difference in their recovery. Here’s how you can help in a compassionate, practical, and sustainable way.

1. Educate Yourself About PND

Understanding what postnatal depression is — and isn’t — is the first step in offering effective support. Learn about the symptoms, causes, and common experiences associated with PND. This helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration, and reminds both of you that it’s a medical condition, not a personal failure. Knowing what to look for can also help you recognise when professional help is needed.

2. Listen Without Trying to Fix Everything

When someone is depressed, advice and solutions can sometimes feel overwhelming. Instead, focus on listening with patience and without judgement. Simple phrases like “I’m here for you” or “It’s okay to feel this way” can be more supportive than offering quick fixes. Give your partner space to express their feelings, even if they’re difficult or confusing.

3. Encourage Professional Help Gently

Your partner may feel reluctant, ashamed, or too exhausted to seek help. Reassure them that talking to a GP, midwife, or mental health professional is a sign of strength — not weakness. Offer to make the appointment, accompany them, or help organise childcare. But avoid pushing too hard; encouragement should feel supportive, not pressuring.

4. Share the Load (More Than You Think)

PND often makes everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Taking on more responsibilities at home can give your partner breathing room to rest and recover. This might include:

• Managing night feeds or nappy changes

• Preparing meals

• Handling household chores

• Caring for older children

• Creating opportunities for your partner to rest without guilt

Small, consistent actions often lift a tremendous weight.

5. Protect Their Rest and Wellbeing

Sleep deprivation can worsen postnatal depression. Help your partner get blocks of uninterrupted sleep where possible. Encourage gentle activities like short walks, warm baths, or time alone — but avoid framing these as “fixes.” They are simply ways to support their overall wellbeing.

6. Look Out for Yourself Too

Supporting someone with PND can be emotionally demanding. You matter in this equation as well. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups for your own wellbeing. When you’re cared for, you’ll be better able to support your partner with patience and compassion.

7. Know When Urgent Help Is Needed

If your partner expresses feelings of self-harm, hopelessness, or seems disconnected from reality, seek immediate support from emergency services or crisis helplines. You are not overreacting — safety is the top priority.

A Final Thought

Your partner’s postnatal depression is not your fault, and it certainly isn’t theirs. With patience, understanding, and the right professional support, recovery is absolutely possible. Keep showing up, keep listening, and remind them often: they are not alone, and they are loved.